Midjourney Quit Pictures to Dunk You in a Pool and Sell $74 Million in Ultrasound It Calls Spa Time

Midjourney, an image generator best known for laundering other people’s art, announced a medical division on June 18 and a plan to lower you into a pool of “golden light” while a ring of sensors echolocates your organs like dolphins. Founder David Holz pitched the licensed Butterfly Network hardware as “the first new whole-body medical imaging method in 50 years” and floated 50,000 scanners after sinking more than $74 million into the pivot, while comparing it to MRI at every turn without holding any FDA clearance for diagnosis. The inconvenient physics: ultrasound does not pass through bone or air, of which the human body has plenty, so a full-body sound scan is exactly the wellness-vibe theater that put Theranos in a courtroom. An art-prompt company selling rich people a bath and calling it the future of radiology is the most 2026 sentence ever written. Pivot to AI on Midjourney’s pivot to Theranos